Journals

I woke up alone again in the new apartment today. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to my roommate and I feel like crying. I’ve suddenly become very scared in the last few days about this trip. not in a “I immediately regret this decision” type way, but in a “oh God please don’t let me get kidnapped” way. when I booked this trip I gave it no hesitation to go at it alone, no one wanted to join me, and I was tired of putting my wishlist on a backburner because of all these lame reasons. so I just bought the flights and said LET’S DO THIS! and I’ve approached this vacation with a “Travel Geek” open mind - that I would go alone, I’d ask locals for help, I’d hope to meet people there, I’d be OK on my own. I had nothing to worry about, my travel expert friends told me, just be smart and stay safe - watch out for those gypsies!   well I like to think I am smart and I can stay safe if I mind my own business. if I can survive NYC alone at night, I can survive Spain right? I hope so! everyone’s been telling me to pack like a backpacker, I gotta rough it up, don’t be a girl. but I’m not this worldly traveler, I don’t know HOW to “rough it” - to me packing lightly means bringing less outfits. and damnit I want to bring my makeup! I appreciate everyone’s tips but I feel as if I have to live up to this ‘round the world adventure-loving thrill seeker who wears the same outfit everyday and washes her underwear in the river. I’m not that, at all. I’m prepared to not have all the amenities and luxuries of a proper stay, but geez this is a vacation, I want to be a tourist ya know, kick back and be on a beautiful beach with no worries in the world, sangria in hand.   I blame my close-minded family who couldn’t wish me well for this trip. instead of showing excitement for me they immediately listed everything that could go wrong. and after hearing about those terrible things for 3 months, I’m starting to believe them. I’ve been seeing lots of people here the last few weeks to say goodbye and part of me feels like it’s a final goodbye. what if something really does go wrong?! what if I do get robbed, or someone kidnaps me, or what if I get drunk and some stranger steals me away? then what!? I won’t have a phone or computer with me! I don’t plan on hitting the clubs at the wee hours as the locals do, I don’t want to stand out as a tourist, but you really never know. and I just pray that I'll be fine this trip.   I luckily have two friends who will be my companions for the first week, after that I shall go wherever that overnight train/bus takes me. right now, I just need to man up, get a grip, and face this trip. there’s no other time that I’d have this opportunity. and this was my gift for myself, so I must complete this journey and come out a better adult, a stronger person.   I’m going to miss my family and friends, I get homesick very quickly. even now, these final hours I feel like I should be spending it with the people I care about, but there's no one here to support me or comfort me. and I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I need to occupy my mind, God knows I haven't been able to sleep in the last week because of this.    I didn’t realize I’ll be gone a full 2 weeks til just recently, so I plan on Skyping, emailing, and status updating to announce my existence. my hope is that all these fears and woes go away immediately when I land. that I find a handsome Spaniard who will rescue me and I will abandon the internet world and go on my way. we'll see.   if you’d like to keep in touch with me while I’m gone, feel free to drop me a line at: makeshiftalisha@gmail.com. below is my planned travel itinerary, so feel free to follow me on this map:     catch you on the flip side, Travel Geeks.    or just read my follow up piece on why I'm excited for Spain