Journals

Today I will take my first pill.   I have always been reluctant to play with my brain in any way. I've never used any hard or soft drug, only had my first drink of alcohol when I was 21, and even then, went another year before I had enough to get drunk.   So today I am actively taking something that will begin to change how my brain works, and while all of the old anxiety about that sort of thing is still there, I am optimistic.   I made a very simple plan for myself yesterday. I would wake up by 8, (I typically just wake up whenever I wake up, then go into work. One of the benefits of project-based work.) cook myself some pancakes in the leftover bacon lard I've been keeping in the fridge, (I know that might sound gross to some folks, but nothing better tasting than a breakfast cooked in lard) take a photo of both myself and my bedroom (I'm planning to take a photo of those two things every day), weigh myself (stupid scale didn't come with a battery, so that will begin tomorrow), take my pill, and post to sosauce.   Well, last night a friend had a lock problem (which I will detail on the other journal) so I got off to a slightly rocky start, having to set my alarms back, but I'm still feeling good. Making a distinct plan for how I would handle my first day taking the medication seems to have taken the edge off my nervousness about taking it at all.   Alright, be well everyone!     ° Schuyler